📖 The Princess, The Mob Boss, and the Black Knight 👑
“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.”
— William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part II
✍️ Author’s Note
This curious chronicle was discovered—quite by accident—in the dustiest corner of the Abbey of Perpetual Delay, beneath a pile of unsigned trade agreements and a half-empty barrel of diplomatic wine. The manuscript, written in a steady if somewhat sarcastic script, is attributed to the elusive Brother Inconvenience, a monk whose quill was sharper than most swords of his age. Though the events it describes are “set in a time long ago,” discerning readers may detect certain… familiarities. Any resemblance to persons currently striding the world stage, demanding tribute, or redrawing borders is, of course, entirely coincidental and absolutely deliberate.
Archivum Satiricum — Folio XIII
Prologue — Sung in the Market Square
Come gather, good people, and lend me your ear,
For a tale of the realm and the trouble drawn near.
Of a Princess so clever, yet timid in stance,
And an Emperor bold in the arts of extortance.
Of a Black Knight who sharpens old maps in the cold,
And a court full of jesters with purses of gold.
Of merchants, and parrots, and councils that stall,
And a drawbridge let down for the wrong guest at all.
The Chronicle
In the heart of the Old World there dwelt Lady Europe, fairest of face, richest of purse, and most accomplished in the art of avoiding final decisions. Her cities bustled, her scholars argued in a hundred tongues, and her knights kept their swords polished — though rarely unsheathed.
Across the Great Sea ruled Donald the Magnificent, known in less ceremonious taverns as the Mob Boss of Mar-a-Lago. His crown, forged from the melted spoons of bankrupt casinos, gleamed falsely in the sun. He demanded tribute for “protection,” though his armor was tin painted gold and his loyalty depended on the direction of the wind.
In the cold steppes brooded The Black Knight of Moscovia, who hoarded old maps like a miser hoards coins. He polished his helm with grudges and sharpened his blade upon the whetstone of nostalgia.
Supporting Cast of this Curious Court
- Sir NATO the Jester – Once a proud knightly order, now reduced to juggling budgets and promises while tripping over his own bells.
- The Parrot of the Press – A bright-feathered bird that repeats yesterday’s proclamations until they are believed as truth.
- The Silk Merchant from Cathay – Purveyor of silks, ports, and “peaceful partnerships,” who always leaves with more than he came for.
- Lord Autonomy – A stubborn duke from the Stubborn Marches, who believes a realm should stand on its own legs, even if those legs grow weary.
- The Council of Eternal Delay – Masters of forming committees to study the feasibility of drafting proposals that might one day be discussed.
Of the Troubles that Befell the Realm
One spring, the Black Knight’s shadow lengthened. Donald the Magnificent sent heralds proclaiming:
“Most Esteemed Princess, I shall be thy shield against yon Knight, provided thou dost empty thy purse into my coffer, purchase my curious weapons (though thou needest them not), and proclaim before all nations that I am the Sun from which thy moonlight springs.”
Lady Europe trembled. The Council of Eternal Delay met for three fortnights, emerging with the bold resolution to… do exactly as the Emperor commanded.
Lord Autonomy cried out: “We are rich! We can arm our own knights! Why kneel to a merchant crowned with fool’s gold?” But his voice was drowned by the Parrot’s endless refrain of “Danger! Danger! Unity at any cost!”
And so the wheel turned:
- The Emperor grew fat on tribute and praise.
- The Black Knight rattled his sword and repainted his maps.
- The Silk Merchant bought another port.
- Sir NATO juggled and stumbled.
- And the Princess smiled for the banquet portrait, while her drawbridge lowered at the wrong hour for the wrong guest.
Epilogue — Whispered by the Bard Over the Last Cup
So mark it, my friends, lest our kingdoms forget,
A shield bought in fear leaves a debt yet unmet.
The friend who demands that you kneel when you dine
Will one day demand both your crown and your wine.
And the knight who stands idle while others take guard
Will wake to find foes in his own castle yard.
Thus courage, not tribute, makes empires endure—
And the staff that you lean on must always be sure.
Attributed to Brother Inconvenience, The Abbey of Perpetual Delay
⚖️ Moral of the Tale
🎭 Closing Line
The stage of the world is never empty. The next fable is already being written…
🗼 The Fable of Family Quarrels and the Distant Cousin
Old grudges and tangled loyalties drag a quarrelsome family — Russia, Ukraine, Europe, and America — into yet another inheritance dispute.
📌 Blog Excerpt
A forgotten manuscript from the Abbey of Perpetual Delay by the elusive Brother Inconvenience reveals the tale of Lady Europe, a timid princess; Donald the Magnificent, an emperor in gold-painted armour; and the Black Knight of Moscovia. Satire disguised as medieval chronicle — or history repeating itself in rhyme?
WJJH, September, 2025
In what kind of world do we wish to live 